We Didn't Start The Flame War!

Today's video is another catchy song (with the tune from Billy Joel's "We didn't start the fire") that is bound to make you smile. The lyrics may be slightly rude and daring but they fit the tune perfectly. If you're a keen web surfer then you'll know what these guys are on about. If you don't, just head over to youtube and read through the comments below a video. I can gurantee that there will be at least three people having a bitch about eachother.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Happy Summer Holidays!

100 People Beat A Drum

This short film called "People In Order" has no particular purpose and was made by someone with too much time on their hands. Basically, its just a person from each age from 1-100 banging a drum but once you start watching it, it's strangley hard to not see it all the way through.

It starts of all cute, then heads into the teens who seem very shy, then to the bright young adults, through to the grumpy 40-60 year olds who hand over to the elderly who just about manage to tap the drum with out causing themselves to have a stroke.

I am the music man and I can play the iphone!

It's hard to find someone who would disagree that the iphone is one of the most beautiful things on this planet. Whenever a new app comes out it makes all the tech headlines and recently audio related apps have been stealing the show.

Now you may have heard of the "youtube symphony orchestra" but it won't be long till apple contests that with its own. Here are the three best iphone performers.

1. The Mentalists cover MGMT:

2. Metallica - Nothing Else Matters iphone using guitar app:

3. An Impressive cover of Sweet Child O' Mine:

Hilarious Mash-Ups! (Well Slightly Amusing Anyway)

Being a music lover it's kind of in my nature to love mash-ups. Now you may be screaming "What the hell is a Mash-Up!?!?" but don't worry it's just another cool name for the simple concept of mixing two songs together.

To give you an introduction to mash-ups, check out this collection of the best funny and impressive mixes that I could find. If you're already well aware of Mash-Ups then these should fuel your craving for a while.

Funny:
Beyonce In Mayberry

Eminem Vs Benny Hill

Led Snooppelin

Impressive:
Hendrix Vs Jay-Z

Britney Vs Linkin Park

Kanye West Vs Beethoven

Giant Guitar Or Small Man?

Many beginner guitarists have the problem of stretching fingers between frets and if you are a new wannabe guitarist then check out the size of this guitar. If this tiny man can play a guitar bigger than himself then you can have no excuses or complaints that your guitar is too big.

It looks silly and it sounds a lot worse than a normal guitar but yet again doing something completetly stupid has got this guy his claim to fame so if you feel like you could build a massive saxophone or something - do it.

Make Music With Your Face! Daito Is Back!

Yes, our friend Daito Manabe has been busy sticking electrodes anywhere and everywhere. Last time it was his face and now it's his friends face (no, that's not a social networking site). The video below shows an impressive display of synchronised twitching to form quite a cool and melodic tune.

It actually sounds like something linkin park might do. I've no idea what the point behind all of this is and it seems that you have to wear glasses for it to work but anyway, it's worth a watch.

Sasame Street Sensations

Sasame Street is the bees knees in my view but little did I realise when I was a diddy toddler, that it was also a great place to discover new music. Elmo was basically Jools Holland. You might think "Hold on there! The only Sasame music was corny counting songs!" Well these clips below beg to differ. Here's the top five musical acts on the worlds best show.

1. Johnny Cash

2.James Blunt - this one is funny

3.Destiny's Child

4. Feist

5.Norah Jones

Now you may have noticed the lack of posts on audiofish. Well I'm not losing the will to live. I'm trying to get the site promoted and its working well. Audiofish is now a mog music network member and I'm trying to put together a great team of writers so watch out for updates in the near future.

Musical Bra!

Yes this is quite an odd one. It may not be every woman's dream to wake up one day with playable breasts but at the end of the day, this wonderbra could provide hours of fun. Each breast has eight different sounds that are made from homemade buttons under the fabric when pressed.

Don't expect it to be in the shops anytime soon but I have a feeling it won't be long till we see an ochestra of women playing with their breasts. It can't be comfortable but being a fish, I will never have to face this problem.

That's Not A Guitar...Oh God It Is!

I'm a big fan of guitars and as sad as it may sound, I find them beautiful. So when I see the mutated guitars below I don't know whether to cringe or embrace them. I'm sure that even if you're not a guitar player you can appreciate the horror these guitars have.

1. This one is just wrong.

This one is just stupid and probably impossible to play.

And you thought the guitar and saxophone weren't in the same family.

This man has got it all back to front.

This guy has a serious foot fetish.

We finish with a bog standard guitar. Love the bog roll strap.

So I think you'd agree that owning these horrors would make you derranged.

Music Science! Clever? Stupid?

I've always been a fan of pointless research studies that people get paid to investigate. The latest is if listening to a certain style of music makes you clever or stupid. The research found that If you listen to Beethoven, you are likely to be clever where as if you're a Lil Wayne Fan, I'm afraid you're stupid.

The chart on the link below is quite useful if you want to pinpoint how clever you are. There's a good cross section of bands and artists so there should be won for you. Unfortunatly, I like both of the artists at the top and the bottom of the scale so I guess I'm clupid.

The famous chart - you may want to zoom in to see it clearly.

Forget MyFace! Top 5 Music Websites

Now I'm a fan of MySpace. It's a great way of finding new music but there are a lot of other websites that are equally as good but are not as famous as they're not owned by web gurus google or Yahoo. Here are five of the best of the rest:

1. Slicethepie.com

Slicethepie is simply a revolutionary idea. If you're a music fan, you can get paid to review unsigned bands and by review, I mean a couple of sentences. The more reviews you do and the more accurate you are in your rating, the more you get paid. I managed £5 in a hour which isn't bad seeing as it doesn't feel like work.

There's more, if your a band, then you can get your material published and reviewed. The highest rated bands get put into a showcase where fans vote for their favourite. The winner gets put up for financing and then Slicethepie users can invest in the band. I've got £5 invested in Machine OEM and if they make it big, I get a slice of their success. Although they may never headline Glastonbury, it's quite exciting and also a good conversation starter.

2. We7.com

If you've heard of Spotify, then We7 is basically the same thing. You can create a playlist of your favourite tunes and listen to it as much as you like for free. It's legal as at the start of every song, there is a tiny advert which literally lasts 2 seconds. The adverts on We7 are nearly unnoticeable and seem slightly better than spotify.

3.Mog.com

Mog is basically a Myspace just for music dudes and dudettes and this blog is now an affiliate - Hooray. Like MySpace, you create a mog (profile page) and then download mogamatic which puts up the songs on your computer and recommends other bands for you as well as other moggers that have similar taste. Famous moggers include death cab for cutie, so don't twitter like primitive birds! Get Mogging!

4.MusicRadar.com

Music radar is basically the ultimate website for guitarists, drummers, techy people and genral music lovers. It's made by a network of the best guitar and drum magazines including totalguitar and Rhythm. You can find band members, guitar lessons, drum lessons, tech lessons and software tips. Of course these tutorials are from the stars like Gary Moore. Every Friday, there is also the best of youtube which is always a laugh but it's a great source of quirky stories and fresh music news.

5.Omnifone.com

Omnifone is a UK based mobile phone service that charges a small monthly fee for users to have access to millions of tracks. News feeds of the bands your listening to and social networking are all included. A US version is being worked on.

The Kazoo Man

The kazoo is one of the coolest instruments on the planet. So simple and so silly, they really are a lot of fun - unless of course you give one to a ten year old. Trust me, they will not stop blowing on the damn things.

So in the space of a renegade paragraph I've gone from loving Kazoos to deciding they're the most annoying thing on the planet. I need something to make me fall back in love with them then. Hmmmm. How about a grown man pretending to be several people whislt performing Metallica on a Kazoo? Hell yeah!

Musiblocks - Awesome Gadget

These wooden blocks pictured above are the coolest gadget around in my opinion. If you're bored of pressing primitive buttons to control your music then these are for you.

Stop Nattering And Tell Me How It Works!
The best way to get an idea of what they are and how they work is by watching the video but basically, stacking the cubes increases the volume and I think turning them changes track. Practically speaking, they're pointless but I know I want some and they look so cool and fun. Unfortunately they are still not available to buy but it is pretty immanent.

'Star Wars' A Cappella Tribute

I've always been a big fan of star wars and this a Capella tribute is absolutely awesome. 4 perfectly in tune voices and clever lyrics make it a must hear. I'm not sure these men have much self conscious but why they're in track suits is beyond me. I'd love it if they were in storm trooper outfits. Anyway, before I ramble on to say something I regret, here's the vid.

Blog Carnival Of Music Fun

Today's post is an absolute monster. This is the first of a monthly feature on Audiofish where the best bloggers on the web contribute their stories to the Blog Carnival Of Music Fun. So without further delay lets get down to business.

Earlier on this month Audiofish brought you the story of Danny the guitar hero. Well it seems that youngsters do it best as Tony Huynh discovered when he came across this 12 year old school boy, Sungha Jung , who is out doing guitarists thrice his age. Here's a taster but there's plenty more on this link.

Now I promise you that this isn't his sister, but Sara is impressing the music scene just as much with these astonishing drum skills. She's only 13! If these two hooked up, they'd surely be world famous. I've got to set up my own record label and sign these two.

Now if you've got a kid who plays an instrument, don't expect them to turn out like the above exceptions. The chances are you've got a little one who has been told they have to practise half an hour daily at deafening you to hell by bashing the drums in some hellish uncoordinated mess or strumming a random sequence of chords as loud as possible - and then they have the cheek to ask if they can play with distortion or play louder because they can "barely hear it".
Check out Mad Kane's spoof musical accord contract.

And Now For Something Completely Different:
If you're stuck in a dull or dead end 9 to 5 job then sorry, there's not much I can do about that, however I can make you jealous with Barrie Lapins who gets paid to blow Hard Rock Cafe's money on Rock n’ roll Memorabilia. Find out more here.

Now Rock n' Roll memorabilia is quite exspensive so if you can't afford Jimi Hendrix's guitar or your sane enough to not want to but that kind of thing then perhaps the top ten guitar films may tempt you. My favourite has to be Bill and Ted.

Well that's it for this carnival. I've enjoyed it and hopefully you have too.

Adios.

Yeah Yeah Urgh?

It would almost be impossible not to laugh or smile when watching this video of a man covering Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. As I watch all these looney videos, I can't help but think that these people should be at work because they certainly have way too much time on their hands.

I've also put the original on below so you can compare and contrast. I think the fat man does extremely well.

Cookie Monster Covers Jay-Z

I miss sesame street. Children's TV seems to have gone to the dogs. If you are wondering why you never see the show anymore then there is a valid reason. The Cookie Monster decided to go gangster and start covering hip-hop anthems whilst swearing like there's no tomorrow.

Although slightly rude and involving lyrics to be frowned upon, it is a strangely funny video. Rude? Yes. Immature? Yes. Genius? Yes.

Make Music With Your Face!

Today's video speaks for itself. It shows a programmer named Daito Manabe, actually making music with his face. Why you'd want to do this is beyond me, but it is certainly cool. I'd love to tell you how he does it, but unfortunatly the information on his website is all in Japanese and I have more chance understanding screamo music.

Well here it is, a nice composition made by Daito's face.

Ruler Organ - Get Twanging In 5 Mins

We've all been there, back in the school classrooms, bored out of your mind until you get your plastic ruler, rest it over the edge of the desk and twang it. Nothing on earth is more satisfying, not even inter-net-courses. However, Audiofish likes to push the boundaries, one ruler isn't good enough, so lets build an organ of rulers. It only takes 5 minutes and is thoroughly amusing.

Warning: Participating in this activity may leave your friends and family emotionally detached.

Step 1 - Lay Down The Rules!

Step 2 - Overhang the rulers by different lengths.

This will obviously create different notes. There are all sorts of scales you could use.

Step 3 - Put Weights on your organ.

Step 4 -Enjoy and make youtube video!

Hilarious Beatboxing

Today's post is a recipe for rhythm, but is also very odd. If you're wondering how to make music and want to know what ingredients are needed, then this video is a must watch. Forget Delia Smith, this guy/lady is the best new celebrity chief around. He/she really is! The video has over 3 millions views on youtube.

I'm always jealous of beatboxers becasue when I try doing it I sound like a World War II battle. I hope he/she gets a prime time slot on TV soon - I know I'd watch it.

$75000 Can Buy You A Rock Star

None of your local shops have the deal of the week this week. Drummer Josh Freese, who has worked with the likes of Guns N Roses and Nine Inch Nails, is offering a whole selection of add-ons that come with his new solo album "Since 1972".

For a grand you can get Josh to wash your car or do your laundry while the most expensive add-on of $75000 would get Josh to be in your band or be you personal assistant for a month. Now if this sounds to good to be true, it probably is. The main aim of this offer is just for marketing and it's working very well, but some of the options are affordable and I have no doubt that hundreds of people have already put in their claims. Here's the full list of options:

"$250 (limited edition of 25)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.-T-shirt-Signed Drum Head and Drumsticks.-Go on a lunch date with Josh to PF Changs or The Cheesecake Factory (whatever you're into.)

$500 (limited edition of 15)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download-T-shirt-Signed Cymbal and sticks-Meet Josh in Venice, CA and go floating together in a Sensory deprivation tank (filmed and posted on youtube)-Dinner at Sizzler (get your $8.99 Steak and "all you can eat" Shrimp on)

$1,000 (limited edition of 10)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.-T-shirt-Signed Cymbal, Drum head and Drumsticks.-Josh washes your car OR does your laundry....or you can wash his car.-Have dinner with Josh aboard the "Queen Mary" in Long Beach, CA-Get drunk and cut each other's hair in the parking lot of the Long Beach courthouse (filmed and posted on youtube of course)

$2,500 (limited edition of 5)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.-Get a private drum lesson with Josh or for all you non-drummers have him give you a back and foot massage (couples welcome)-Pick any 1 member of the Vandals or DEVO (subject to availability) to accompany you and Josh to either the Hollywood Wax Museum or the lunch buffet at the "Spearmint Rhino"-Signed DW snare drum.-Take 3 items of your choice out of his closet (first come, first serve)-Change diapers and make bottles with him for an afternoon (after hitting the strip club)

$5,000 (limited edition of 3)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.-T-shirt-Josh writes about a song about you and make available on iTunes.-Co-direct a video with him for the song about you and throw it up on the youtubes.-Josh gives you and a friend a private tour of Disneyland-Get drunk together. If you don't drink we can go to my Dads place and hang out under the "Tuba tree"-Stone from Pearl Jam will send you a letter telling you about his favorite song on "Since 1972"

$10,000 (limited edition of 1)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download-T-shirt-Signed DW snare drum from A Perfect Circle's 2003 tour.-Josh gives you a private drum lesson OR his and hers foot/back massage (couples welcome, discreet parking)-Twiggy from Manson's band and Josh take you and a guest to Roscoe's Chicken n' Waffle in Long Beach for dinner.-Josh takes you and guest to "Club 33" (the super-duper exclusive and private restaurant at Disneyland located above the Pirates Of The Caribbean) and then hit a couple rides afterwards (preferably the Tiki Room, Haunted Mansion and The Tower Of Terror)-At the end of the day at Disneyland drive away in Josh's Volvo station wagon. It's all yours....take it. Just drop him off on your way home though please.

$20,000 (limited edition of 1)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.-T-shirt-A signed drum from the 2008 Nine Inch Nails tour.-Maynard James Keenan, Mark from Devo and Josh take you miniature golfing and then drop you off on the side of the freeway (all filmed and posted on youtube)-Josh gives you a tour of Long Beach. See his first apartment, the coffee shop on 2nd St where his buddy paid Dave Grohl $40 to rip up tile just weeks before joining "Nirvana." See the old Vandals rehearsal spot, the liquor store he got busted using a Fake I.D. at when he was 17 (it was Dave from the Vandals old ID). Go check out Snoop Dogg's high- school. For an extra 50 bucks see where Tom and Adrian from No Doubt live. For another $25 he'll show ya where Eric from NOFX and Brooks from Bad Religion get their hair cut.-Spend the night aboard the Queen Mary and take the "Ghosts And Legends" tour. (separate rooms...no spooning.)-Josh writes 2 songs about you and it's made available on iTUnes and appears on his next record (you can sing back up on em, clap, play the drums, triangle, whatever....)-Drum lesson OR foot and back massage (once again...couples welcome and discreet parking available)-Pick any 3 items out of Josh's closet.

$75,000 (limited edition of 1)-Signed CD/DVD and digital download-T-shirt-Go on tour with Josh for a few days.-Have Josh write, record and release a 5 song EP about you and your life story.-Take home any of his drumsets (only one but you can choose which one.)-Take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL's Lamborgini OR play quarters and then hop on the Ouija board for a while.-Josh will join your band for a month...play shows, record, party with groupies, etc....-If you don't have a band he'll be your personal assistant for a month (4 day work weeks, 10 am to 4 pm)-Take a limo down to Tijuana and he'll show you how it's done (what that means exactly we can't legally get into here)-If you don't live in Southern California (but are a US resident) he'll come to you and be your personal assistant/cabana boy for 2 weeks.-Take a flying trapeze lesson with Josh and Robin from NIN, go back to Robins place afterwards and his wife will make you raw lasagna."

I just wish the Gallagher brothers were doing the same offer.

Ultimate Guitar

If you have £2399 to spend then I'd urge you to buy a Gibson Dark Fire guitar - then perhaps send it to me. We've seen robots playing guitars but this guitar is a robot. Even if you're not interested in guitars I think you might be able to appreciate this gem.

Basically, you have to watch the video to get a full idea of its capabilities but it self tunes in seconds, with many tunings to select from, it can adjust its intonation and also has a lot of preset tones based on famous rock stars. It really is the ultimate guitar.

For an In depth look watch this exclusive demonstration.

Air Guitar Strings?

I've always loved seeing clips of air guitarists going crazy and I'll admit that It's not uncommon for myself to pick up my air gibson les paul standard and start playing at full volume around the living room. Anyway, today I went online to see when the world air guitar championship is this year (stop laughing! It's a serious event and yes, It does exist) and sure enough late August will see the crowning of a new hero.

What happened next shocked me more than Amy Winehouse having fans. The website I was on had a google advert for air guitar strings! Huh? I've heard the stories of people buying air guitars on ebay but this was ridiculous. So I clicked the link and came to another website selling air guitar strings for $1.99 and yes, they even have the cheek to charge shipping as well. Here's the website. Be sure to check out the basic moves and watch this pro for some tips.

Air guitar championship website

The Ultimate Shop

Just a quick post today, as I'm off to my brothers house but by no means a dissapointment. Moving swiftly on, this is without question the best shop I've ever seen. Located opposite the railway station in Southampton, England, it really is a fantastic and novel idea. This little store is styled on a Fender Champ amp and is getting more famous by the day. Just a simple touch of design has done the firm wonders. It's amazing it hasn't been done before.

The shop is called the Guitar Store and the business has been battling back against the current economic climate attracting many visitors. I can only dream of playing through an amp that big but I have to say that I'm delighted that the shop is doing well.

Making Music Crunch Proof

Every time you listen to the radio, turn on the TV or fire up the Internet, you probably see someone nattering on about the credit crunch. Today that person is me (sorry). But I'll try and put a good spin on things. Making music is a great hobby but it is a common myth that you need a lot of expensive equipment to do this. Making music is credit crunch proof and here's 5 ways to prove it:

1. Sample, Sample, Sample and Sample!

You don't even need to make music. All you need to do is go fishing for it. You can catch all sorts of great sounds like sirens or birds tweeting or maybe your loved one snoring at night. Hey that's what alternative music is all about isn't it? This wonderful audio can easily be caught on your iPhone or cheap microphone recorder but you don't want to do this because of the cheap hissy quality. Well see No.4 for free software to cut out the crap. Anyway, new music and bands like Hot Chip purposely make tunes a bit rough around the edges. Clean and pristine is not always best. Just look at what distortion has done.

2. DIY

You're going to need an armoury of instruments to make your music - but that costs a bit. Well have thrice as much fun building your own. You could make you own guitar. It's not as hard as it sounds. Even buying one in bits and putting it together saves you a lot. Check out the £100 guitar challenge.

Everyone seems to play guitar though so if you're after something more exotic, how about a stomp box, or a synthesizer for $20!

3. Cardboard is the new plastic!

Cardboard is great. You can make anything from it. Bikes, computers and cars have been built from the stuff used normally as bog roll but if you just starting out, this laptop stand is a must.

4. Free Software for all!

Free software is simply amazing. There are now free demo's and programmes all over the internet waiting to be downloaded. A lot of them do what you might pay around £100 for. Audacity is great for recording and remixing your mash-up, plus, there a loads of support forums on the internet. You can live of demos these days. Check out Virtual DJ and Ultramixer for free trails that will not dissapoint. Oh yeah, you can use the ultramixer download for ever. The free trail never runs out!

5. Recycle till your dizzy!

Recycling is the best concept ever thought of and you get a real buzz when you make something for free that looks cooler then the shop window products. Even the big companies are at it. Ever heard of the band Parts and Labour? They got fans to send in their audio and made an album from it. Clipping toenails and horses are all featured. But we'll finish with a bang. Anything can be recyled. Even coconuts!

Guns N Roses - Hand Fart Cover

This guy must win every talent contest he enters. If you watch this video, I promise you will be impressed with the commitment and skill on display. It has to be the best cover of Sweet Child O' Mine ever. I mean I can't even hand fart but this guy can do the guitar solo with, if i may say so, a unique and exotic sound.

I really want to find out how much he practises (not that I'm going to give it a go or anything) and what in the world made him aware he could do this? Looking past the funny noises, he has got to be one of the best musicians ever. In my mind, there is Jimi Hendrix, Elvis and then Mr Hand Fart Man. Let me know what you think.

Find more of his material on youtube.

Drumming Doctors? Dr. Dave Grohl?

OK first we had didgeridoo therapy and now it's apparently official that drumming is good for your health. The story was even on the national news! What's official is this world is full of totally doolally people, I mean who starts a study to see if drums are good for the health. The research is backed by the Sidney De Haan Centre (no I've never heard of it either) and they want the NHS to use drumming as a method to deal with patients. I can just imagine Dave Grohl (Nirvana drummer) bashing away in a ward.

As you can see, I've not taken to the idea. Lets picture ourselves in hospital and our heads feel like the great wall of china has fallen on them. The last thing we want is some nutter on a drum kit, thumping away claiming it's good for us. However I may have to eat my words as there is strong evidence that beating drums can lower blood pressure and stimulate the brain. I leave you to make your own minds up on the situation but I think the authors of this study need bashing.

Here's the bbc's report featuring some awesome playing from Clash drummer Nick Topper.

The Talk Box!

Now you probably won't care much but the other day I was listening to the track "Generator" by Foo Fighters and was wondering what the hell the intruement was that makes the noise in the intro and throughout the song. So I did my research and foundout. It's called a talk box and is my new favourite instrument.

The talk box is an odd piece of kit and looks like a garden hose pipe. You connect it to your synth or guitar and whilst playing your intrument you stick the pipe in you mouth and connect the box to an amp. This will result in a new universe of weird sounds that will perplex your ear. Famous users of the talk box include Foo Figters, Stevie Wonder and Kanye West/Daft Punk.

The best use of a talkbox has to be talking or singing into the pipe which will create a robotic voice for yourself like the faster, stronger bit by daft punk. Apparently, there is controversy surrounding who invented this device but you can read more here on wikipedia which also tells us how one works a bit better than me so is worth a quick visit.

Still Wondering what a talk box sounds like? Watch this gangster showing it off:


Make you own recession busting talk box here!

Speaking Volumes

Recently, you may have replaced you halogen light bulbs with energy saving ones, which is fair enough, but when you need to replace these why not buy light bulbs that have speakers for your Ipod? It may sound silly, but the Castiglione Morelli-designed Bulb-Sound-Speaker does exactly this and, although in the concept stage, it has recieved a lot of attention.

How it works:

The speaker is powered through the same fitting as the light bulb meaning you can plug it in anywhere. You don't need to leave your Ipod dangling from a wire connected to your light, this is the 21st century! Bluetooth means you Ipod is a s mobile as ever when playing through the speaker - no wait I mean light bulb - no wait i do mean speaker. There is one issue I have though, at the moment you can't use the speaker and lightbulb at the same time so you'll have to rave in the dark.

There's Plenty More Fish In The Sea:

Who wants a Light bulb speaker? Here's the best of the rest:

1. The Yoruzu audio kit - yes, that is a japanese milk carton being used as a $51 speaker.

2. Is it a toaster? Is it an Amp? No It's insane!

3. Ever wanted to play your guitar through a beer can?

Didgeridoo Therapy

Are you feeling the stress of life? Are you Paranoid or too cautious? Whatever your problem is don't visit your doctor. Oh no, don't do that, it would be normal. What you should do is visit your local didgeridoo therapy clinic which I'm sure your local town centre has many of.

It may seem too weird to exist but I came across http://www.didgetherapy.com/ today and was simply speechless. The site is all about how the vibrations from didgeridoo's helps solve all your mental problems and anxiesties. You may have already guessed, but I've not taken to the idea. Here's some of the twoddle on the site:

"The didgeridoo is a powerful tool to help lift an individual's vibrations back to a less chaotic and natural rhythm. It does this by producing a broad range of harmonics in an ancient and universal tone.

In everyday life the average person forgets to do the most basic tasks of proper breathing and healing meditation. This common, unhealthy practice can lead to life threatening illnesses. Through meditation and proper breathing techniques it is possible to reach a state where we can lift our consciousness to enhance individual healing abilities and help to mitigate pre-existing conditions. The tones produced by the didgeridoo make it possible for people who have never consciously focused on meditation and breathing techniques, to reach these deep healing states with very little effort.

People change the oil in their cars every 3,000 miles, yet how often do they practice proper energetic or breath exchange? Through a series of very simple shifts in personal practices one can improve one's personal health and longevity. In turn, this will lead to a greater sense of balance that will impact every aspect of one's life."

Joking aside, the didgeridoo CD that you can order from the site is really awesome on the ear but I won't accept that it is used as some sort of miracle worker. I tried to find a youtube video of someone carrying out this therapy but I guess not enough people are in to it. So here's a clip of a painted man playing one instead.

The Guitar Hero

If you haven't played guitar hero yet then why not? It really is a good laugh. Danny Johnson from Grapevine, Texas however, can only see the serious side as he recently broke the high score on Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock.

Danny reached 973,954 points during a 7 minute version of the games hardest song "Through the fire and the flames" by Dragonforce. Now obviously this requires a focused mind, determination and no social life.

Danny wasn't all laughs and smiles though after breaking the record. He came within seconds of playing all 3722 notes perfectly but at the 3558th note, the blue button on the guitar controller broke having been put through the brutal attack inflicted by Danny's fingers. It is said that this guitar hero has smashed up 80 controllers during his nine month campaign to reach greatness.

Translating Rap

Ever heard a rap song or rap battle and not known what the hell is going on? Your not alone. In fact I think the point in rapping is that you talk as fast as possible so nobody can hear your lyrics which you've forgotten anyway so you just talk about all the miserable problems you have in life.
Rant over and getting back to the point, It's about time some people set about translating rap for all of us who don't have ears that can pick out a gazillion words per second. Well don't worry (you're not anyway) today's video clearly translates a rap battle into simple English. Also, despite what you think, it's not a fight at the end of the vid, it's just a misunderstood dance.

Time to Dance

It seems every year there is a stupid new complicated way of telling the time. They've got binary watches and silly displays where you have to count the dots. But none of them compare to these Tokyo dancers who blew audio-fish out of the water with this superb and very artistic e-clock.

The clock tells the time in Tokyo in a standard way but every 5 seconds, some dancers do a short 3 second movement that is representitive of the time. Now I'm not artistic but the dance moves are recognisibly clock like whilst also captivating. There is some soothing music and by now you wonder the purpose of all this. It's advertisement. The dancers are neatly dressed and are actually wearing a clothing range. The site is well worth a look and It is weirdly hard to look away.

If you want you can download it as a screensaver or embed it in your blog.

Visit this link to see the e-clock which has superb video quality.

Magical Music

The big question today is are these the most lovable, or most annoying songs you've ever heard. Magical Trevor is catchy and also a rib tickler but once you've listened twice you know the song off by heart and it gets stuck in your heads for years.

I first heard Trev about four years ago. I swear I haven't listened to them again since today and yes, I was able to sing along. So have a listen and tell me, is this annoying or awesome?

Here's the first episode:
Warning: This video is extremely contagious!

Click Here For Magical Trev Merchandise.

Great Musical Performances

Whilst browsing the web for some ideas for audio-fish posts I've come across loads of weird and wonderful musical performances from the stupid, to the breathtaking, here's the best I found this week:


It seems that when cats do anything it is cute but even I can appreciate the sweetness of this.

I don't know much about drums but this guy is amazing!

This is my favourite, must have taken ages to set up.

Cowboys no longer gallivant around like they used to so here's what they do in all that spare time.

I'm a big Alan partridge fan and here he is showing off his moves but he's nothing compared to Bush.

Crowd Surfing Injuries

On Tuesday, Mike Skinner, lead singer of The Streets crowdsurfed in a Cambridge concert (If you're old or just simple and don't know what crowdsurfing is then see more info below the video) and was left "seriously" injured. Now lets clear some things up:

1. If you crowdsurf you can expect to get hurt.


2. The Streets are one of the worlds worst bands and fuel chavism
   

His blog says that he "was punched and scratched, and woke up the next day in "unbelievable pain". Well if you've not noticed I have no sympathy but this video shows what can happen when stage dives and crowd surfing goes wrong.

What Is Crowd Suring? confickr

The Soundtrack To Your Economic Crisis

Making money from an economic crisis is surely a bit contradicting and very hard to do, but this is exactly what German artist Johannes Kreidler has done by releasing new music inspired by the global recession and what not.

He used the stock market and charts to determine the melodies of his tracks. If stocks rose then so did the pitch of the song and vice versa . He then programmed his melodies into Microsoft's Songsmith which is some software tat automatically creates backing tracks. Hey presto! You've got yourself the soundtrack to your recession - It sounds weirdly chirpy.

94.3 point

Saddest Song Ever

Derricks Emo Song is the saddest song in the world but it is also one of the funniest. If you don't already know, an Emo is a type of person that wears what Derrick is wearing and they seem to hate life. They are known to self harm and are very depressing people. "Emo" comes from emotional rock (I think) which is their music genre including bands like My Chemical Romance.

However, like the the economic climate, it is not all doom and gloom with this comedic interpretation of an Emo's bedroom scene. If you're an Emo then watch this and cheer up! If you aren't an Emo then well, erm, watch this and cheer up!

Emo's may be seen as odd people but there is no word to describe this guy!

Grandma's Rap Eminem & Pussy Cat Dolls

Ok today's challenge is to watch this and not laugh or smile. Whoever said choirs were not cool was a loser. This video of the elderly proves that Grandma's and Grandads know how to put our top artists to shame.

The singing isn't even that great! But I have all respect for the organiser who got a load of elderly folk to sing about taking their clothes off and rap like gangsters. I really hope this clip doesn't feature your parents/grandparents. If I had to see my old folk do this, I would be scared for life.

Guitar Boat

I am not the biggest fan of boats and stuff, mainly becasue everytime I go I get wacked by that stupid death pole thing that swings from side to side. Rant over, I discovered that Australian singer-songwriter Josh Pyke had an acousitc guitar shaped speed boat built for his "Make You Happy" music video.

Not only does it work, it was used in Sydney harbour and did I metion it was a speed boat! Shaped like a guitar! Oh yeah, it's also now up for sale to raise money for charity, but I suspect you'll have to pay thousands to get it if you want to out bid some celebrity who's career is down the drain and wants to promote themselves.

Here's the vid:

Nobody Moves Like Bush

Well the world is probably aware that Barack Obama is President of America now and it's probably a good thing. However, I have one problem. I don't get too much into politics, purely because half the time I don't know what's going on, but as I say I have a problem and it is that George Bush is no longer President.

I think Obama will be a better president and do the world good but nobody moves like Bush. I will miss the mispronunciation and question avoiding but most of all, the Bush dance moves that we used to see almost weekly. Hopefully, one day he might release a dance dvd but anyway, I feel it is my duty to create a little space on Audio-Fish where Bush may rule forever.

Couldn't find a compilation on Youtube so here's a link to all Bush's dances on the BBC.

Ouch! - Guitar Smashed Over Head

What are friends for? Breaking guitars over their heads with actually. This is the stupidest thing I've seen since Big Brother (nothing can top that!). But I'll come clean, I also find it funny and worryingly addictive to watch. I mean, what went through their heads?(except the guitar). "I don't want my acoustic guitar anymore. I know I'll find someone who will let me smash it over their head."

Obviously don't try this at home and I'm sure you won't. If you are as mental as these headcases then seek advice but instead of smashing your guitar, just send it to me! Surely it must of hurt. I'm impressed by how the victim/idiot takes it. How did they know the guitar would break like that and not kill their friend/village idiot?

Cooking Keyboard?

I am sure all of us have been through that moment where we wake up one day and think, "I want to cook dinner by playing a keyboard." No? Well maybe it's just me and the guy in today's video.

YouTube user Modd3d said "I installed a MIDI port in my microwave and now I use it to cook corn dogs. Mostly I was testing out my new Midify board and wanted to see if you could use it to control home appliances. It turns out you can. If you want to find out how to Midify stuff go to http://www.division-6.com./ "

This has lead me to have a dream. I dream, that one day, in our future, the time will be upon us where restaurants are run by orchestras and rock bands cooking up our meals. Fast food shops would be controlled by bands like McFly while your local up-market eatery is run by UB40.

Bring on the Beethoven Burger! Ok I'm gonna stop. I'm getting way too carried away.